It’s Father’s Day, and since 1999 I’ve not had a living father to celebrate it with.
The pain of that loss has long reduced to more of a regret that I wasn’t able to share more of my life with my dad, as I think he would have been pretty happy with how I turned out, I’d like to think. 😆
I’ve written several stories about my dad here on my blog, mostly in my Backstory series, about his early life, his work at the steel mill to take care of us, and memories both good and hard. I’ll link all those at the bottom of this post for anyone who wants a bit of light biographical reading about the blue collar, music-loving son of an Italian immigrant.
But I was thinking today that I have so much to be thankful for in the men who showed up in my life as father figures — good men who invested in me, mentored me, spoke aloud their confidence in me, and just generally put good vibes of strength, calm, and love into the room whether I asked for it or not.
I think of the men who would pull us aside when we were teachers and say “Whatever kids don’t have money to go on that big field trip, just tell me and I’ll write a check.” Their generosity with their resources always reminded me of my dad, who was definitely a “shirt off my back” kind of guy to people in need.
Or the friend of mine down the road who will go anywhere to fix anything because he’s good at it and he loves helping people. He and my dad could have — in a different universe where their paths crossed — spent hours in a woodshed or garage tinkering and fixing and building. Happy creators and happy restorers.
I need to write a letter of gratitude to a particular man who has always been a father to me though the full realization of that did’t really hit me till a few weeks ago. A mentor in both professional and academic settings, and someone with a substantial investment in me obtaining my doctorate. I am so thankful for his investment in my life.
I’m also thankful for my peers, the guys who perhaps were a boss or a friend or someone alongside me for a journey. Not so much “father figure” but I appreciate them too. When the “man vs bear” conversation comes up, I know those men would punch a dickhead in the face rather than let him harass a woman.
And the man who has meant more to me than any other man in my life, my husband, who is a gem and a beautiful soul and someone who shows love through acts of service and thoughtful kindness. He’s also been a father figure to so many of his students, and sometimes they think to tell him so. But I think he knows even when they don’t.
None of us achieve anything of value without the input, guidance, love and input of others. No act of kindness is wasted. I try to pay it forward. ❤️
To the OG man in my life: Thanks, Dad.
Stories about My Dad in my Backstory series:
just:words 
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