Ran across this excellent piece about the storms of parenting adolescents.
I had to hold back tears when I read this, because it dredged up deep memories of watching friends and parents I know do this for their teens. Grace always hits me in the feels like that.
I usually got to see both sides — the fear and fighting from the scared teen, and the pain and fear it caused their parents.
Yet they both held on. And they made it.
The Letter Your Teenager Can’t Write You
One of the best analyses of fundamentalist thinking I’ve ever read
It is impossible to debate a fundamentalist….because their very language psychologically traps them into their frames of mind.
In saying it is impossible to debate fundamentalists, Race is saying that fundamentalists — to borrow a concept from Robert Jay Lifton‘s idea of totalism — load the language. They use language in a radically different way from most society, which enables them to control dialogue. They use “thought-stopping cliches” (which is also a term Lifton uses). Race explains that,
That’s why it’s impossible to debate with a fundamentalist. By replacing “my” with “God” and melding beliefs about authority with authority itself, fundamentalist vocabulary has left no room for humility, reason, openness, doubt or change.
And, in conclusion: fundamentalism values ideology over people
Yes. A crisp insight, one that’s vital to understanding current political discourse or my college years.
Source: Whether or Not It’s Possible to Debate Fundamentalists, Fundamentalists Want to Debate You